Our most recent trip to our favorite grocery store resulted in me getting a couple of my current favorites in the bakery: the apple filled donut. I guess it’s not a donut if it doesn’t have a hole…(fleeting thoughts of looking up the difference, but I digress.)
This thing is a work of art in and of itself: super soft dough that melts in your mouth when you bite into it, a light crusting of sugar (is it brown sugar? I’m not sure…) that just adds a slight bit of crunch to the softness of the pastry, and the wonderful surprise of soft apples bathed in a light syrup that isn’t too sweet, just right as you experience the whole package.
It’s a wonderful experience for me to indulge in this bakery item. I love to pop it on a plate and heat it up, for just a few seconds, just enough to make it even softer and to warm the apple goodness found in the center.
Today, as I sat with my apple doughy gooey pleasure, I noticed that I wasn’t enjoying the experience. I was really just eating the donut and not noticing all of the good things that I love about this wonderful pastry item. I was just going through the motions of eating, and really was not thinking about it much at all.
So I stopped. I took a few seconds to assess what I was doing. I had the apple goodness in my hand, hovered over the plate (because the sugar just lets go when you bite into it). It was half-eaten. As I looked at the donut and wondered why I was so absentmindedly tearing through it without experiencing it at all, I looked over at my other hand. It held my cell phone. I realized that I was missing out on enjoying my current favorite thing because I was scrolling through my phone. I immediately put down the phone and turned my full attention to what I was eating.
I looked at the sugar on the plate. I looked at the sugar on my fingers. I felt the warmth of the pastry through my fingers, noting that it wasn’t too hot, but warm enough, just like I like it. I took a bite of the donut, and paid attention to the dough, the apples, the taste, the warmth. I sat there and finished the experience of eating something that I was excited and grateful to have on this cold winter morning.
And I thought: how many other things have I just blindly moved through because I was distracted with something so utterly meaningless? How have I become so conditioned to scrolling through social media or playing some game on a device, instead of taking the time to be fully present in the now and experiencing what is actually going on? And why do I choose to “check out” of the present moment when there are things, even though they are little things, to experience, savor, and appreciate?
I don’t have all of the answers to this. But I am now aware of how I am at times sleepwalking through life. There are times when I am truly on autopilot, and I don’t notice what is really going on around me. I try to pay attention to the big stuff. The major events, if you will. But I now recognize that there are times when I am not fully present to my life. I see how I am bypassing the little things that bring me happiness and joy in the moment. There are so many things that we may categorize as little or unimportant that bring light into our lives. We are all so often distracted by the drama and chaos of the world (most of which I believe is none of our business) that we fail to see the things around us that have the ability to lift us higher, make us smile and fill us with wonder.
Take a moment when you find yourself captivated by that electronic box in your hand to look around and see what else is happening. I bet that you will be surprised. I sure was.