“Pick the most important thing and get started.” This phrase can cause angst among many of us. It has often caused much stress in my life, because my immediate thought is this: “But what if I think that ALL of the things are important?”
This is a problem that I have had for a very long time. When faced with options for doing something, I am often paralyzed because I think that all of the options are important. What I have realized is that, in some cases, they are all important, but I have to decide (and I get to decide) what is most important. I had to learn to move from the barrier of indecision to the choice to give myself the power to decide.
I know that I am a recovering people pleaser. It made me a perfectionist, because I was terrified that mistakes would make people disappointed, that I would be less than in others’ eyes if I didn’t get it “just right”, and for a very long time, my very existence was built on pleasing other people. At the grand expense of myself.
“If they’re happy, then I’ll be happy.” That is one of the greatest lies ever told. Pleasing others just led to me worrying about always pleasing, always getting it right, and always thinking that whatever I did, it wasn’t enough. Which to me meant that I wasn’t enough. Lie.
I am enough, just as I am. If you can’t love and accept me for who I am without all of the people pleasing, then I’m not for you. And today, I can stand in that truth. I am the most important thing, at least to me.
So now, when I look at what I need to do, I can decide what is important for me, what is important to me. And, I am learning to decide, standing here in my truth, what is the most important thing.