What are you really after? Have you thought about it recently? Or are you focused on collecting all of the “prizes” along the way – things, titles, accolades?
We often get distracted by the “participation trophies” of life and fail to have a long term vision of our lives. If you are not clear on your long term goal, the end goal, the presence of the intermediate gains, the means goals, will distract you and only satisfy you for a moment.
You know the feeling. You say “I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.” “I’ll be happy when I make [whatever salary leads you to think that you “made it”].” “I’ll be happy when I’m married and have kids.” These are all means goals. Means to an end goal, whatever that looks like for you.
What are you really after? What’s the end goal? Joy. Happiness. Love. Harmony. Peace. Contentment. Satisfaction. Safety. Who do you want to be? Are you able to name what it is that you are truly after? Can you say, “I want to have a sense or feeling of ___.” What kind of life do you truly want to lead? When you get to the end of your life, what do you want to feel? Start building that now.
It is your life. You can define what you want for it. And I’m willing to bet that you are not intentionally trying to live a life of pain, anger, frustration, or fear. But if you haven’t been intentional in finding the good in your life, all you will see is the bad. And then you try to make yourself feel better with all of the things. The things only make life better for a short time, until the newness wears off and you start looking for the next thing to make you feel better.
So what’s the alternative? Find your happiness now. Find your happiness today. You have to be deliberate in identifying what brings you joy. It really can be in the little things. Start by identifying what you appreciate. Start by listing what you are grateful for in your life. There is something. And it is inside you. There really is something to feel good about, no matter how small.
Blue skies, great music, good friends. What do you have to feel good about? What can you appreciate right now? It can be a tangible thing, if it helps you feel better. Your home, a cup of coffee, your favorite song, your most comfortable chair. Just give yourself permission to feel better. You don’t have to dance in the streets, but try to feel a sense of relief for right now.
Here’s the thing: I don’t expect you to jump from pain to joy instantaneously. Just decide to try to feel better. Then a little better, and a little better. Soon you will have a rock solid process by which you can get closer and closer to the happiness that you seek. And before you know it, you’ll be right in the middle of it.
We can access many of these feelings right now, but we have convinced ourselves (and society has taught us) to play the “I’ll be happy when” game. We deny ourselves happiness in the now in the pursuit of the next trophy.
Stop selling out your long term vision for your life for these short term awards. Being the best version of you requires a dream, a vision, a purpose and a plan. Where are you on the path? Developing your dream? Working your plan? Seeing your vision? Feeling out your purpose?
Become aware of where you want to go. Find joy, happiness, harmony and love today. It will get you to your dream so much faster than the task of dragging all of the trophies that you are collecting with you. Enjoy your accomplishments. Just don’t let them distract you from your ultimate desired outcome for your life.
What legacy do you want to leave in this life? Who do you want to be? What kind of impact do you want to have in this life? How will you feel when you make that impact? Get excited to be your best you. Get excited to show the world who you truly are. Get excited to help inspire and impact those around you. Get excited now. Feel good now. Find that feeling that you really want now. Then continue down the path to what you are really after. The legacy of who you truly are.