Rest, don’t quit. That’s how the saying goes. I scheduled (actually, we scheduled) a staycation around Labor Day. I knew when the dates were set that I would try to see how much non-work work I could get done. Once we got to the days off, I actually stopped, and rested. And immediately felt guilty for doing that. Why is it that I always feel guilty for resting? I know that I have a guilt complex around quitting. I have quit things far too many times in my life, and I am super sensitive about quitting things. My problem is when I take a rest, my brain tries to tell me that I am quitting something. So over the past few days, I have had to remind myself that I am not quitting, I am resting. But I still feel guilty. I am constantly thinking about what I should be doing, what I could be doing, and beating myself up for not doing any of those things. It is ridiculous. I often don’t enjoy my time off because I am constantly thinking about what I should be doing. Ridiculous.
I often try to figure out why I think the way I do. And that can be dangerous territory. In this case, I am aware of my history of quitting things and fear that I am doing it again. I’m not sure that I need to spend hours (or days!) analyzing this history. I just need to know that it is a pattern that I developed after repeating the behavior/habit over and over again. I recognize that I don’t want to do it anymore, and that the pattern does not help me be the best I can be. So no overthinking. No overanalyzing it. Just seeing the pattern as it is.
And…now that I recognize this pattern, it’s time to change it. I am determined to break it and start a new habit of resting, recognizing that I am in fact NOT quitting, and enjoying the time away from all forms of work. Without guilt. (Now that’s the hard part.) But I am determined to do this, to improve my mindset, to have a little more inner peace. And I will return to work refreshed, rejuvenated and grateful for the time away.
Rest, don’t quit. And ENJOY it…!