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Overcoming limiting beliefs is hard work. It is an ongoing process, I have found. Just when you are sailing along with your new and improved thoughts, the old stuff comes back. Sometimes it’s a whisper, sometimes it’s a roar. But it comes back. I am getting better at recognizing it and stopping it in its tracks earlier than later. I can now do it before I get into the vortex of a bad mood or massive rumination. We are often at a standoff, me and the limiting belief. I see it and test it for truth. Usually I can see the “lie” immediately. But sometimes it still just stands there, like it is waiting for me to give in. Nope. Not anymore. But the standoff can last for a while if I can’t get my mind into a place where I can not only say a new thought but believe it. Life Coach Brooke Castillo often says that you should just move yourself into a neutral belief if you are having a hard time believing a completely opposite thought. I like the concept, but still struggle. I think that idea works well for body issues (“I have a body” instead of “I love my body”, when you have been thinking “I hate my body”). But what about those deeply ingrained thoughts about your own abilities? “No one wants to hear what you have to say, so you shouldn’t waste your time writing.”  Now there’s a good one that often leaves me frozen in my spot. Should I say “Someone wants to hear what I want to say”? Should I say, “writing is not a waste of my time”? I do believe that writing is not a waste of my time. But why do I procrastinate about it? Because I go back to “No one wants to hear what you have to say”. That one is burrowed in my mind. Deep. I am working on it. But apparently it still has power over me to some extent. What I have learned is to see it sooner by looking at my inaction, examine how I’m feeling (my go-to feeling is “tired”), and then backtracking to my thoughts. I don’t always remember to do this efficiently. I sometimes get stuck in the feeling. Don’t get stuck in the feeling. Recognize it and move forward anyway. Just take a deep breath and do it. I have come to realize that thoughts and feelings are so intertwined that it can be impossible for us to figure out what thing came first. If I recognize a feeling but cannot consciously link it to a thought, I realize that the thought related to that feeling is so deeply ingrained in me that it doesn’t look like a “thought” in and of itself. It may be a belief that is no longer conscious.

It is important to recognize that thoughts are related to feelings which lead to action, but thoughts are also related to feelings which then lead to INACTION. I will spend more time examining my inaction and asking myself if that is what I truly want: inaction, or action. I know that I often end up beating myself up for my lack of action. Instead, I will work harder to recognize the inaction as a sign of a negative feeling, look at that, then work to change my thoughts.  Good old reverse engineering. Works every time.

So what about changing that limiting belief? I will have to start with “Writing is not a waste of my time”. I shouldn’t even argue the other thought, because I know in my soul that there is someone out there that can get value out of what I have to say. It only has to be one person. Just one. I have been a psychologist long enough to know that I have helped someone with what I have said. Now I am doing it as a coach.What I am saying may not be original. I am just saying something in a way that may make sense to one other person. Much like someone has done that for me. Often. It has been very helpful. So I just want to pay it forward. And I will.

You are the product of your choices. Be aware of the choices that you make. First and foremost, choose to love yourself. Remember to breathe. And enjoy the ride.

I often have times when I am supposed to be working on something (usually writing) and a “million” reasons why I can’t or won’t come up. Of course, a million is a gross exaggeration. The limiting beliefs start up, telling me why even attempting to write is a waste of time: It won’t be any good, no one will read it, you have no ability to write anything decent, this is such a waste of time and effort, etc. So I work to sit with those thoughts for a bit. I do some other things, but also open up this document to write. As I begin the job of gathering my thoughts, I also think this: You have been working to change the way you think about things. Why not change the way you are thinking about this?  I am aware that doing that is entirely in my control and I can do it (change my thoughts) very well. So here I am, electing to change how I am thinking about it. And when I do, I automatically feel better about it. Thoughts affect Feelings, which affect Actions, which affect Results. Just realizing that I have the choice and ability to change how I am thinking about something is a major game changer.

First, I am proud of myself for even THINKING that I have the ability to change my thoughts and affect my limiting beliefs. I usually (I try not to say “normally”, as that is such a subjective term,) just go along with the thought/belief that I have and call it truth. But thoughts are just that, thoughts. Not truth. Think about all of the times that you played the “What If” game in your mind. It plays like a movie in your head, with sights, sounds and even smells at times. But that thought may not play out in reality, right? However, we often take our limiting beliefs as gospel truth without another thought about it (Ha! Another thought!) So maybe we SHOULD have another thought about it. Looking at it from the outside/observer position gives us a chance to review that belief for facts. I know that the trick to regularly reviewing our thoughts and beliefs is practice. We have to continually practice being aware of what we are thinking. That is the hard part. But is it really that hard? What it requires is that we spend less time “checked out” of or from ourselves and more time in the here and now of our minds. I know that may be scary for some people. But if you are worried that your thoughts are scary, being aware of them means that you have the chance and choice to change what and how you are thinking.

So how do you start this? It’s not very difficult. Just spend some time (you can start with 5 minutes) being aware of what thoughts are going through your mind. Just pay attention to what you are thinking. I know that there are a LOT of thoughts going on. Just pay attention to them. You don’t have to change any of them right now. Don’t judge them, either. Be gentle and easy with yourself. You are just observing. No action is needed. This is solely a “fact-finding” mission, with absolutely no expectations. Just observe. We spend so much time on “auto-pilot” that we are often not even aware that we are actually ON auto-pilot. We all do it. It’s just like when you are driving, get to your destination, and have little to no memory of the drive. So take your brain off of cruise control for a few minutes and see what’s going on in there. Just observe. Then you can go back into auto-pilot. If you choose. You may choose to or you may choose to be more aware of your thoughts. The power is that you get to choose. Accept that power.

Are your thoughts positive or negative? Are your feelings positive or negative? Your thoughts and feelings dictate the outcomes in your life. Positive thoughts and feelings lead to positive actions. Negative thoughts and feelings lead to negative action or no action at all. Where are your thoughts today? Find the positive! BEYou! BEGreat today!

You have all been there – you identified a goal, set a plan, executed it, and accomplished the goal. And you stood back and said…that’s it?  You did what you set out to do but didn’t that feeling of “YES” that you thought that you would.

Then came the feeling…that there was something else…you couldn’t see it clearly, you couldn’t name it, but you could FEEL that there was something else. You just KNEW it. It’s like getting a poke from someone and when you turn around, they aren’t there. But you know you got poked. So what is that? That’s the Universe telling you that you have more to do. Telling you that you have to fulfill your calling. Your calling, that vision placed within you when you were created. That calling, that vision that you had small glimpses of in childhood, and you tried to equate that with what you saw in the world. You identified those goals, succeeded, and still felt like you have unfinished business. Or you feel that you hit the wrong target.

You have to get still enough, quiet enough and have enough faith that you will see what your true calling really is meant to be. Get still enough. Get quiet enough. Listen. You know when the Universe is speaking. It sounds different. It feels different. Maybe you get a signal, a sign.  And yes, it will terrify you. But, guess what? When you were given this calling, you were also given all of the tools that you need to fulfill it. Everything that you need to succeed, to be great, is within you.

We get caught up in “I have to read this book, I have to get this degree, I have to get this title”. Those things just allow what’s already in you to RISE to the surface. It illuminates that which is buried within you. It will rise. It will shine. If you get still enough, quiet enough, and have enough faith. It will rise.