“Be Happy Just to Be Happy.” This was a text from my soul sister, the one that understands that I am on a unique spiritual journey back to my authentic self. We often text each other as we move along the path of self-discovery, when things get dark or feel uncertain or unfamiliar.
It’s a phrase that I keep close these days. This year has been a tough one, with the loss of two of my closest loved ones, isolation and traversing through grief in a pandemic. There are days when I am ABSOLUTELY not happy. But I have learned the lesson that the control know to turn up the volume of my happiness is in my control. I spent a lot of time and tears thinking that the key to my happiness existed outside of me.
I compared my life to others and tried to match up to what they did, what they wanted, how they saw the world. And I wasn’t happy.
I tried to be what I thought they wanted and needed, in a search for validation and “joy”. And I wasn’t happy.
I beat myself up over and over again when I stumbled. I told myself to do better. To be better.
And I wasn’t happy.
So seeing those words – Be Happy Just to Be Happy – caused me to stop and think. Long and hard. Over and over again. Because, overthinking is part of who I am and what I do (I’m working on that…it’s a work in progress).
I have the power to be happy just because I want to? Is that a thing? A REAL thing?
Considering the source, my soul sister who walks this same path, looking for ways to walk in her truth and live her life as fully as possible, I had to consider it. I had to consider that I could be happy just to be happy.
Lord knows overanalyzing why I wasn’t happy didn’t seem to make me more happy, or bring me more joy. Spending inordinate amounts of time looking into and at my unhappiness just brought me more of it – more unhappiness.
So, why not. I decided to execute a little experiment. I decided to be happy just because I decided to. When things came into my world that made me think of anything less than happiness and joy, I decided to reject them, and resort to being happy. Even if just for a moment, an hour, or a day.
How did it go? Pretty well. I had a good day. I recognized that bad moments were just that: Bad moments. I could see them and then let them go on their way. But the power came in choosing happiness after the bad moment; the power was in allowing myself to move ever so closely to joy.
Now, is every moment of every day hearts and flowers? Absolutely not. But I have learned this: I can choose to feel better, even if it means taking a moment to be grateful, or going outside to listen to the birds sing. I focused on what increases my happiness: moments with my wife, our dogs, friends, being outside, music. I decided to identify the “gremlins” that try to bring me down and figured out what they hate. If I take just a moment to move towards happiness and away from sorrow or pain, I get better. Every day.