What do you believe? Do you believe in yourself? What do you believe about yourself? The good stuff? The bad stuff? All the stuff?
Do you tell yourself that you believe something, but know deep down that you absolutely don’t? Funny how that happens, right? I spend a lot of time convincing myself that I believe something, and just as I think I’m good, the good old ego goes, “Yeah, right.” And the fight begins. The analysis. The over thinking. The inner argument with myself (really it’s me versus the ego/personality).
This usually happens when I set out to do something new, something that stretches me and I can grow from. I tell myself that I have the capability to learn something, try something, or do something, and the old thoughts come up: “No you can’t”, “Why bother”, “It won’t work”, etc. This is the programming in my brain that has been working for years. I now recognize it as a protective measure, a mechanism to keep me “safe”. And comfortable. But I can’t grow, I can’t move forward, embarking on new journeys if I stay the same or stay in the same place. I have had to work hard to know when the old patterns happen and develop a method to question and overcome this faulty programming.
Over the years I have developed a “checklist” to vet my thoughts at times. I have used this with myself as well as with my clients to get through those stubborn thoughts that everyone struggles with and often color our world, thoughts and mood. I will share the short version of the checklist with you :
- Is it true? Is the thing that you are believing actually true? Or are you just working really hard to CONVINCE yourself that it is true because that would be easier that doing the work? (That’s often a tough one to swallow; your ego is an expert on giving you an easy out. Often this starts with “it would be too much work.”)
- What’s the WORST thing that could happen? (Hint: if this moment of analysis doesn’t end with “I could die” then you will probably be okay.)
- Is this going to matter to you in a year? In 6 months? In 3 months? (I use this one to see if I am giving way too much energy to something that doesn’t deserve it. Energy is precious.)
I usually end up having a truth-telling session with myself to acknowledge that the thing that my ego is telling me I can do is actually possible. I just have to do the work. Oftentimes, the work really isn’t that hard. I make it hard in my mind (thanks again, ego.) And so far, it hasn’t killed me (100% survival rate! Woohoo!)
What are the things that you tell yourself to keep yourself “safe” and comfortable? What are the words that you tell yourself that holds you back? The first step is recognizing what you say to yourself. Then you can begin to develop new patterns in your brain that lead to new and exciting journeys in your life!